Even while we were still dating, we already have plans for our future. Little did we know that time that fulfilling our plans would also mean some difficult times, hardest of which involves our loved ones.
In the 4 years that we've been together, we've been through rough moments, and most experiences took its toll on our finances. The most difficult time, as I may have experienced (and maybe holds true, too with M) happened just recently.
As much as we don't want money to be the cause of our discussion, it really finds its way to be one. We are living in our parent's house together with my siblings. Common household expenses such as electric and water bills are the source of misunderstanding. No matter how hard we try to make the division of responsibilities fair between us siblings, others react because of some selfish reasons. This selfish reasons of others are the cause discussion between me and my husband. He sometimes can stand the fact that I'm still the one being depended upon by my maiden family for the household needs when in fact all of us are working and are very much capable of sharing.
As much as I would want to still be there for them, I have my own family and they are and should be my priority. I hope they can understand it. As for me and my husband, we've always made sure that misunderstanding between the two of us should always be settled immediately. Our son is smart and is already observing the things happening in the household, when I'm not okay, he already asks me why and that he relates it as "daddy's mad at mommy". I'm bothered about this and it's difficult to explain to his little mind the things happening around him. What comforts me for the moment is the tight hug I receive from my son in times like this.
We actually have a solution to this current problem of ours, but it will really take too much effort and a little more time to realize it...moving to our own abode.
During situations like this and even when money is not the reason, we always try very hard to find solutions to it and ask our Lord for guidance and strength. We know there will be more bumps in the road we're traveling as a couple and as a family, but as long as we find strength in each other and with the deeper meaning of love binding us, we know we're always gonna make it. ;)
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2 comments:
It's always hard to be living with other families under one roof. There will always misunderstanding, not only with division of labor, but also with expenses. And it creates misunderstanding between the couple. And I believe you when you said that your son knows it and can feel the tension. And it's hard to hide the tension if you don't have enough room to move or enough room for your kids to have their own space that way you and your hubby can discuss matters without your kid being present. Moving out would be the best thing you can do. I am so glad that with love and understanding between you two, you are still very much together and strong enough to face whatever comes your way. God Bless and have fun.
A good friend had the same problem. Living with her in laws took it's toll on their savings for a future their house plus on the relationship with her in laws. After learning how much her monthly expense is, I realized that it's more than my monthly budget considering that I have two kids and she has 1, Im paying for my home and car amortization. Eventually, her family got their own place to avoid relationship tension to escalate and for them to be able to carve their own future as a family. Bumukod is no joke as well, there are different sets of problems you will have to go through as well but somehow everything seems to be in its own perspective that way.Also, your maiden family will always be your family so help them somehow. Can we ever really turn our back on them? We love them so much to do that :)Good luck and God bless always
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