There's so many things to say but almost all especially those not material in nature boils down to one thing both of us wants from each other - TIME - time for each other.
Time for each other is essential in a growing relationship or in any relationship for that matter. This we had plenty when we were still on the dating stage and when we were a newly wedded couple. But then, when our eldest son came, time for each other became lesser. Especially from my part since I had to nurture a newborn child. Time became more scarce for each other when another baby arrived to the family.
As much as we miss each other so much despite being together every single day, we have to understand that our children needs our care and attention. Part of giving them care and attention is for us to work to be able to provide for the family. I think we are in the situation that our children comes first before ourselves and us being a couple. Our son is a 3-year old toddler who demands so much attention because he's in the "discovery" stage, he's too inquisitive of all that's happening in his environment. While our daughter, barely 5 months old, needs all the nurturing for her to grow up as healthy as her kuya.
There are times that the demand for time from each other becomes the source of misunderstanding. Despite how hard we try to understand the situation, but when emotion gets in the way, understanding the facts that lies in front of us becomes too difficult. Though at the end of the day, we still make amends and discuss between the two of us what to do to avoid such misunderstanding. A simple cuddling to express ourselves becomes too valuable to each other.
On the material side, my husband is not so much a material person, I am more of that kind, but because of our children and our desire to provide for them, there are times that I let go of what I want in favor of the needs and wants of our children. In cases like this, either of us is sensitive of the things we temporarily set aside to give way to more important expenditures, thus when good times arrive, both of us try to acquire for ourselves or as a gift to each other the things we've previously put on hold. There are some items though that is on M's wish list that I know...a digital SLR, a qwerty phone, a Nike rubber shoes to name a few...I hope I will be able to give at least one from his list or at least help him in raising enough funds for acquire whatever is in his priority list. As for me, so far, what I want from him which I already told him about are...an iPod (I'm borrowing his once in a while) and since Christmas is in the air...just reminding here ;)
3 comments:
Wow! Time is of the essence pala kayo ah. Well, like what you said, your kids should be your priority. Wala bang baby sitter once a week so you can go out on a date or something. Relatives who can watch the kids even just for a couple of hours so you can have a "we" time. I am so lucky that my mother is with us, hubby and I can have a time for each other. I feel for you, but I know that you are doing the best you can to raise your kids on your own and you're setting yourselves aside to give them the best life has to offer. They are very lucky to have the greatest parents one can have. Take care and goodluck on the ipod, hehehe.. wala rin ako nyan, di ako marunong gumamit, pang pre paid cheap phone lang ako..
those things are sometimes inevitable to a relationship, but in time you'll find ways to work things out and everything will fall into place..
thanks sisters for your wonderful comments and advices, will keep them in mind ;)
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